


face these kinds of things

by premonitioning



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Friendship, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premonitioning/pseuds/premonitioning
Summary: Hitoka rested her cheek on her knees, waiting for Tsukishima to get it.“Yachi-san,” he breathed out, just before Yamaguchi reached them. Ding ding ding! He’s cracked the code, ladies and gents!
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 20





	face these kinds of things

**Author's Note:**

> italics are drunk yachi's thoughts. i imagine drunk yachi to be a sassy b, like nam juri

Hitoka looked out from the deep bay window into the sunny garden, swinging her legs and taking a long, slow sip from her straw. As hastily planned as the whole event seemed, Kiyoko had pulled off the organisation flawlessly. Beautiful garden, gorgeous hotel, delicious food, open bar – _cheers to that_ , Hitoka’s alcohol addled brain thought – and of course Kiyoko herself was stunning.

Hitoka had taken pictures with her before the meal, “I want some of just us two,” Kiyoko had said to the photographer with a shy grin at her underclassman. Hitoka thought her heart had been shattered enough during the ceremony, but apparently Kiyoko intended to spike it down into the ground the way their boys did a volleyball. The older woman sat close to Hitoka on the plush sofa – as close as her many skirts would allow – and smiled in the way that made boys cry. In the way that made Hitoka want to cry.

“Thank you so much for coming, Hitoka-chan. It makes me really happy that you could make it,” Kiyoko had told her, holding one of Hitoka’s hands between hers. Hitoka could only smile – or at least attempt what she thought was a smile – brightly.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, senpai.” Unlike some of her classmates. The traitors.

Shockingly, Hitoka hadn’t shed a single tear. Yet. Dinner and speeches had been a struggle. Nishinoya and Sugawara had made jokes that hit entirely too close to home for her, intermittently making the beautifully presented food on her plate taste bland and turning the texture to sand. So the blonde had made a beeline for the bar as soon as the music started.

And now, she was onto her third, possibly fourth?, glass and she’d escaped into a corridor away from the event hall. She couldn’t bring herself to smile through the revelry anymore. But no tears, not yet. She was distracting herself by analysing the placement of the roses in the garden outside, thinking about how landscaping probably shared some traits with advertising.

“Yacchan?”

“Gucchi! Tsukki!” Hitoka greeted cheerfully. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Hitoka’s use of nicknames, because if she thought about it, yeah, she never used nicknames with those two. But the straw between her teeth asked her if it really mattered, if anything really mattered, and she thought _nah_. “What’re you two doing out here? The party is in full swing, right?”

Yamaguchi smiled as he sat down next to her on the window seat. “Tsukki is as bad with crowds as ever, on top of being grumpy because he had to wear a suit,” he explained, a conspiratorial tone to his voice. Hitoka grinned up at Tsukishima, who shrugged before pulling on his necktie and undoing the top button of his dress shirt.

“What about you, Yachi-san?” _Boo, honorifics_ , Hitoka thought, sending the tall blond a frown. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

“Wallowing,” she answered simply. Another raised eyebrow from Tsukishima. Yamaguchi made a noise of understanding.

“Ah, you miss Hinata, right?”

_Wrong_. “Don’t mention that traitor to me!” Hitoka declared, waving her hand and sticking out her bottom lip. “How _dare_ he be on the other side of the world right now! Probably enjoying himself on Alpaca Banana Beach! Having _fun_! With his stupid beach volleyball friends! While I’m here _suffering_!” She puffed out her cheeks in anger before sucking up the last of her drink noisily.

Tsukishima’s face had lit up at the possibility of talking shit about Hinata but his expression pulled back down at her declaration. “This…” he started, gesturing in Hitoka’s direction, “isn’t about Hinata, is it?”

Hitoka looked back out the window, clutching her empty-save-for-ice glass in her hands. _Don’t cry, Hitoka, goddamn it._ “Nope.” She could see Tsukishima’s reflection glance at Yamaguchi.

From next to her, Yamaguchi placed a gentle, calloused hand on her wrist. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked her, just as gently as he’d touched her arm.

_Absolutely not_. “Get me another Lemon Sour?” she asked, plastering the sickly sweet smile back onto her face as she tilted her glass at him.

“Sure.” Hitoka didn’t miss the non-verbal exchange between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima – she smothered a laugh at the panic in Tsukishima’s eyes at being left alone with her as Yamaguchi made his way back to the event hall and the bar, Hitoka’s empty glass in hand.

Tsukishima stood awkwardly in front of her for a few moments, before Hitoka laughed and patted the cushion by her side. “C’mon Tsukki, I’m supposed to be the scared, uncomfortable one,” she teased. Tsukishima scoffed in the way only Tsukishima could, but the corner of his mouth tugged upward as he sat next to her, hands in pockets and long legs stretched out in front of him.

_Stupid lanky boys_ , Hitoka thought as the silence settled over them.

“Coach Ukai told me you got scouted for the V League,” Hitoka began. Tsukishima huffed a breath through his nose.

“Yeah. Division 2, though.”

“Division 2 is still impressive.”

“The King is on the _Olympic_ team.”

Hitoka scoffed. _Poor Tsukki and his inferiority complex._ “Yeah, well, who’s better off? Kageyama-kun, stuck at some overseas training camp with _Ushijima_ , or you, getting to spend your Saturday evening with your drunk former manager?” Hitoka beamed when Tsukishima rewarded her with a short laugh.

“Well, when you put it like _that_ …”

“Exactly!”

“Would you rather be with Hinata in Brazil?”

_No, I’d rather be in that room down the hall, dancing with Kiyoko-senpai_. “Brazil would be nice. It’s winter there right now. Although it doesn’t get that cold, it’s still cooler than here. Plus it’s Hinata’s birthday next week…”

Tsukishima nodded, lifting his hand to rub the back of his neck. “Are you two…uh, doing long distance?” Hitoka would have cooed at how cute Tsukishima’s awkwardness was, if he hadn’t asked her such a difficult question.

_My feet hurt_. Hitoka kicked off her shoes, and brought her knees to her chin, pulling the hem of the dress she’d bought specifically for today around her ankles. “We…” Hitoka released a heavy sigh, a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “We were never dating.”

_Pfffft, Tsukki, your face!_ The many levels of confusion that passed over his face took some of the edge off her confession. “But…I definitely remember there being… _kisses_? You guys were _gross_ with the public displays of affection.”

Hitoka smiled. She loved Hinata with all her heart, she did. “You saw kisses on cheeks, and hand holding. But you definitely never saw us _kiss_ kiss, right? On the lips.” _I’d never be able to actually kiss him_. Tsukishima seemed to be wracking his brains for a memory where Hitoka and Hinata’s interactions were anything but family friendly.

“I don’t understand,” he finally said, seemingly coming up short.

Hitoka looked up at the other blond, then down the corridor where two of the venue staff were having a conversation about glasses for the bar. She motioned to Tsukishima to bend down, and put a hand over her mouth.

“Do you know what a beard is?”

She stifled a snort when Tsukishima’s hand came up to stroke his chin.

“ _No_ , the other meaning of beard.”

Tsukishima nodded, almost imperceivably. “You are Hinata’s…?” he whispered to her, a frown tugging at his eyebrows.

“No.” Tsukishima’s eyebrows relaxed. “Wait, did you think I’d actually out someone else?” she hissed, offended at the implication.

He raised his hands in defence. “Sorry. I didn’t…imagine that you…He seemed more likely…”

Hitoka snorted at that. _Pretty sure Hinata’s sexuality is volleyball._ And then she sighed. “In our third year, my mother was starting to suspect, and it was two years too early for me to think about coming out to her…so I asked Hinata if he’d be my fake boyfriend. He’d been talking about Brazil with me since second year, so I knew we wouldn’t have to do the whole…messy breakup thing. It was…pretty easy, actually. He’s my best friend, I just had to be a bit more affectionate with him, and you know Hinata, he’s so _tactile_ , so no one really questioned it. I came out to my mother last year, anyway. It was fine. Not great, but, I didn’t get removed from the family register, so, y’know.”

She pulled away, leaning back to watch Tsukishima’s face. His eyes moved back and forth, analysing the information she’d just given him. Yachi got flashbacks to sitting on the sideline of a gymnasium, watching him read an opposing team.

“You’re mad at Hinata because he’s not here. But he’s not the reason that you’re…suffering,” Tsukishima tested, looking to Hitoka for confirmation of his theorising.

“Hinata can always cheer me up when I’m sad. And he definitely knew I’d be sad today but all I got was a stupid ‘you can do it!’ text message and a promise for a video call later tonight.”

“Right.”

Yamaguchi came back through the door, carefully carrying three glasses with his tongue stuck out with the concentration it took to not spill anything. The music and chatter from the festivities spilled into the corridor for a moment before the door swung shut. Hitoka rested her cheek on her knees, waiting for Tsukishima to get it.

“ _Yachi-san_ ,” he breathed out, just before Yamaguchi reached them. _Ding ding ding! And he’s cracked the code, ladies and gents!_ Hitoka relieved Yamaguchi of her beverage as Tsukishima stared down at her.

The bittersweet alcohol settled in her stomach as she quickly drank from her straw, and the warmth it had provided previously was starting to get uncomfortable. Or maybe it was Tsukishima’s gaze. Or possibly it was the entire damn day, from the ceremony in the late morning, to the pictures, to the dinner, and speeches, or maybe it was having someone other than Hinata know. _No take-backsies, unfortunately._

Yamaguchi was looking between her and Tsukishima with his eyebrows pulled together. “What’d I miss?” he asked, tilting his head. Hitoka smiled, remembering how good the freckled man had gotten at reading his clubmates. She threw caution to the wind.

“I just came out to Tsukki, so he’s processing that information,” Hitoka whispered to him. Yamaguchi only blinked twice and tilted his chin in Tsukishima’s direction. _What a sweetheart_.

“Let’s go outside,” Tsukishima said, standing up suddenly and offering Hitoka his hand. “The garden has a gazebo.” Hitoka knew that. Kiyoko had taken pictures there, and Hitoka had watched her from inside.

Slipping back into her shoes, Hitoka hopped up, her drink sloshing around in the glass but not spilling over. Yamaguchi gave her a nod and his gentle smile and it chased away some of the nausea that had been building in her throat. She took Tsukishima’s hand.

And suddenly she was 15 again, being pulled along by a hand calloused by volleyball. _Don’t cry, Hitoka, damnit._ As Tsukishima opened the door and subjected them to the rainy season humidity that lingered even when it wasn’t raining, Hitoka felt her heart jump into her throat. It really was like that day that Hinata had pulled her along to confront her mother about what she wanted. Even the weather resembled it. And now Tsukishima was going to confront _her_ about what she wanted.

At least he took her heels and athleticism into account, unlike Hinata, because Hitoka didn’t feel like her arm was being pulled out of her socket, nor was she being pulled along so quickly that she couldn’t balance on the cobbled stones on the pathway up to the gazebo. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi weren’t as opposite as people thought. Tsukishima just didn’t like others to know how considerate he could be when he wanted to be.

He didn’t let go of her hand as they sat on the white bench of the gazebo. It wasn’t providing any shelter from the blinding sunset, but Hitoka didn’t mind that much. “You can talk to us,” he said quietly, leaning across her to receive the drink that Yamaguchi had carried for him.

“Still on your kahlua kick?” Hitoka asked, with a small smile. Yamaguchi chuckled. Tsukishima had discovered it at their first drinking party after they came of age, and had drunkenly sworn that he’d not drink another alcoholic beverage as long as he lived.

“It’s the superior drink,” he sniffed. “And you’re stalling.”

“What’s there to talk about? The woman I love got married today. I’m in the same boat as the rest of the volleyball club. We were all in love in Kiyoko-senpai, Tanaka-senpai just happened to be the one who married her.”

Yamaguchi made a small noise as he put his hand on her wrist again. “It’s a bit different with you, I think.” Hitoka sighed at that. “Nishinoya-san or Suga-san can be openly upset and joke about it. You’ve been hiding how you feel about her for how long now...? Four years? Five?”

Hitoka nodded, swallowing thickly. Five long years of pining after her ideal woman, who happened to be the ideal woman of almost every other person she knew. And so very unfortunately heterosexual. She took a sip of her drink to try and dislodge where her heart had become stuck at the top of her sternum.

“I wasn’t in love with Kiyoko-san.” Hitoka raised an eyebrow at Tsukishima, and pursed her lips at him. He hadn’t ever given the overreactions the other boys of the team had produced when Kiyoko-senpai did...well, anything.

“You’re doing a terrible job of listening to my sorrows, Tsukki, making this about yourself,” she grumbled at him, squeezing his hand to let him know that she wasn’t being serious.

Tsukishima shook his head. “No, that’s...that’s not what I meant.” He sighed heavily. “ _I_ wasn’t in love with her for the same reason that _you_ are.”

_Ohhhhhhhh._

Hitoka squeezed Tsukishima’s hand again, and he squeezed back. He’d averted his gaze but she could still see the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks. _Cute_. She looked at Yamaguchi, who was bearing what could only be described as a proud smile. _Well, of course he knew_. “What a day for a wedding and coming out to your high school friends,” she said, leaning her head back and staring at the gazebo’s wooden roofing. “I just...never thought I’d have to get over her like _this_. If it had been any other man, I’d just hate him with every fibre of my being for taking away my chance.”

“It’s pretty hard to hate Tanaka-senpai,” Yamaguchi said and nodded with understanding. Tsukishima scoffed on her left, apparently disagreeing. “Tsukki doesn’t actually hate him,” Yamaguchi whispered conspiratorially.

“He’s too loud.”

Yamaguchi smirked. “Tsukki, you _love_ loud...”

_Girl, spill that tea!_ Hitoka leaned against Yamaguchi’s shoulder and blinked up at him. “Yamaguchi-kun, I’ll be able to cheer up if you tell me all the sad and sordid details of Tsukki’s love life, or possible lack thereof.”

“Well…”

“I swear, Tadashi, shut up.”

“He first named you,” Hitoka said sadly, knowing that her teasing had been shut down.

“He first named me…” Yamaguchi agreed, sighing dramatically. “How about your love life, Yacchan? Have you just been pining all this time, or is the Tokyo scene better than up here in the boonies?”

Hitoka pursed her lips. “Yamaguchi-kun…I’m still Yachi Hitoka. I might not stammer as much, or yell out my most drastic anxious thoughts anymore, but I’m not about to walk into Shinjuku Ni-chome and talk to pretty gay girls.” The one time she’d tried she’d gotten off the subway at Shinjuku station, spent two hours in the shopping malls attached to the station, and then went home.

“Ni-chome is terrible,” Tsukishima grumbled. “Obviously, I don’t know about the bars for women, but…” He shuddered. “Absolutely awful.”

“Worse than the wedding of the woman you’ve been in love with since your first year of high school, or…?” Hitoka asked.

“Ni-chome doesn’t have us.”

Hitoka didn’t think that it’d be those words that made her finally tear up. “Yeah. That’s true.” She looked down at her lap and tried very hard not to sniff as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She was grateful neither of them mentioned it, nor told her to stop.

“But our senpai do their best to be almost as noisy,” Tsukishima deadpanned. Hitoka’s giggles were embarrassingly wet.

“It’d have been much louder if Hinata and Kageyama had been able to make it,” Yamaguchi joked.

“I’d take an entire week in Ni-chome during Pride over those two idiots and an open bar. I can practically hear Hinata’s stupid yelling about Kiyoko-san and Tanaka-san and the King’s ‘ _Hinata! Dumbass!’._ ” Tsukishima’s imitation of Kageyama’s grumbling was matched only by Hinata’s, Hitoka recalled as she laughed.

_I wish they were here._ “Still, I miss them.” She took a long sip of her drink and closed her eyes.

“Their dumbassery would definitely keep you busy enough to not even have the time to think about how sad you are.”

_God, Tsukki, right for the jugular._

“Well, I’m just going to have to settle for you telling me about your adventures in Tokyo’s gay district, aren’t I?” Hitoka gave Tsukishima a sidelong grin, as he rolled his eyes.

“Fine. You get _three_ questions. That’s it.”

Yamaguchi tapped Hitoka’s elbow and leaned in, close enough that Tsukishima couldn’t hear. The blond had his eyes narrowed into a glare at his friend. Just like people didn’t see that Tsukishima had a soft side, not many got to see Yamaguchi’s downright brutal teasing – mostly because it was usually directed at Tsukishima. “Ask him ‘when did he first go’, ‘with who’, and ‘why’,” he whispered, and Hitoka could hear the grin in his voice.

“According to the Oracle that knows all about the mysterious Tsukishima Kei, I should ask you when you first went, who you went with, and why.” Hitoka was elated that she’d followed Yamaguchi’s advice because Tsukishima turned a shade of red that neared purple. In their third year, their group of five had become close enough to tease without the offence that might have been taken in their first year, but occasionally their teasing ended up causing deep blushes – none of those occurrences came close to the colour Tsukishima had turned beside her.

“I’m gonna kill you, Tadashi.”

“We’re here to distract Yacchan on this day where she’s very, very sad, and Tsukki, I _know_ this will distract her,” Yamaguchi said before taking a very smug sip of his drink. Hitoka very much liked smug Yamaguchi.

“Fine.” Tsukishima finally let go of Hitoka’s hand to cross his arms across his chest. “I first went in January 2015.”

“Oddly specif-...” _Wait._

Hitoka knew exactly which night he was talking about. It was the night of the finals of their last Spring Cup. Hitoka had been awoken by a frantic Yamaguchi and Hinata and dragged onto the balcony of their little inn to where Kageyama was on his phone with the usual crease between his eyebrows unusually conveying worry.

She stood up abruptly, drink spilling over her hand, and she paced back and forth, much like she’d done on that winter night until Tsukishima had returned at four in the morning.

“That’s why you wouldn’t tell us?! Because you’d gone out partying?!” Hitoka spared him a repeat of the ‘we were worried sick’ speech that she’d hissed at him on the bus back to Miyagi the next day. _I actually thought he’d been kidnapped from our hotel._

“No, I just wasn’t ready to come out to anyone other than my best friend. You understand that.” Tsukishima gave her a pointed stare, but still managed to look a little guilty.

Hitoka’s anger deflated and she nodded. “Yeah. I do.” Yamaguchi was still smiling. “Alright, who on _earth_ were you with that night?” Yamaguchi’s smile grew back into a smirk whilst Tsukishima sunk into the bench.

“Kuroo-san.”

Hitoka shrieked. “The scary Nekoma captain?!”

“He’s not scary, he’s an idiot,” Tsukishima rebutted, apparently wanting to erase fifteen-year-old Hitoka’s utter terror from that first Nekoma training camp.

“You would know,” teased Yamaguchi.

_Oh, Tsukishima does like them loud._ Hitoka remembered his loud voice, provoking players across the net, and annoying Tsukishima in particular. _Guess he got under Tsukki’s skin...literally?_ Hitoka shuddered as she caught Yamaguchi’s eye.

“Yamaguchi-kun’s expression is telling me that the ‘why’ is the most important part...” Hitoka began. Tsukishima sank even lower onto the bench, his shoulders around his ears, and looking as much like a petulant child as a man nearly two metres tall possibly could.

“Tsukki...” Hitoka made her way back to the bench. Instead of sitting on it, she knelt in front of the empty space where she’d been sitting and rested her elbows on the seat, nearly empty glass under the bench. “It can’t be _that_ bad.” Yamaguchi snorted.

Tsukishima turned his head away and mumbled his answer but Hitoka still heard it clearly.

“Because I was crushing on Hinata and I needed it out of my system.”

_OH MY GOD?_

Hitoka bit down on her lip hard, trying not to smile. When her facial muscles lost to the urge, she slapped her hands to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. It was useless. She’d had entirely too many drinks to find it anything but hilarious. Peals of laughter racked her shoulders and Hitoka was gasping for air.

“The moon...fell in love with the sun...!” Hitoka managed to breathe out, relying on the bench to stay somewhat upright. Yamaguchi laughed out loud with her.

“I did _not_ fall in love with him, it was just a dumb angsty teenage crush!”

“Angsty because you thought he was with me!” Hitoka cried through her giggles. _Oh, the absolute teenage drama of it all._ “Dumb because it’s Hinata!”

Apparently that was what Tsukishima needed to hear to be mollified into fighting back his own laughter. He pursed his lips, and stuck his tongue into his cheek.

“At least you’re laughing, and not wallowing,” he said, fondly patting the top of her head.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me that the blondes aren't gay and that tsukki isn't a shithead twunk, i dare you. tell me that yamaguchi won't tease tsukki for his taste in men, go ahead 
> 
> i just really really love the dynamic of the karasuno 1st years but also kagehina aren't emotionally intelligent enough for this conversation


End file.
